Thursday, May 20, 2010

A Second Life Proposal for World Wide Conspiracies

Apparently the G20 is coming to visit Toronto next month. Sure that means lots of VIP's roaming around mucking up traffic and costing us Canadians about $120,000,000 for security. However, it also means protesters, media and the inevitable accumulation of litter. We hate litter.

Why such a big deal about the G20? As a conspiracy it's pretty lame - I mean they actually tell people when they're meeting and pretend to publish the results of their discussions. However, as a diversion from the real work going on, the G20/G6/G8/Gwhatevers are useful institutions. As an admitted member of the largest real conspiracy in the world (HIPPO) I can reveal that we probably would have invented the G's if simple-minded yet earnest politicians hadn't done it for us.

But enough is enough. All that messy yelling and violent clashing just gives me a headache. And yes, the litter is really really annoying. So I have a proposal for all those world wide conspiracies that want to get together - use Second Life.

There are a wide variety of benefits to using the grid for your meetings. Just consider a few:

  • You can claim that your conspiracy is going green. A reduced carbon footprint for not only your official attendees and their staff but also the press and all those protesters. (Want to claim that's elitist? That you'd have to have a computer to be there to protest? pffffft How many protesters from Malawi can afford a plane ticket to London or Toronto?)

  • The cost savings. Host countries will find their budgets for hosting (including security) dramatically reduced. You can use the savings for really cool mouse pads (and retirement accounts).

  • The ability to custom tailor the venue. Your Conspiracy Your Imagination will be the motto. Each host country will be able to develop a venue which reflects the best of their culture and commitment to whatever the hot button topics are for that meeting. You can even dictate the weather! (I use dictate in a purely benign sense here.)

  • Continue to conduct your meetings in "public". I had considered offering you the services of SLE but you do want to appear to make your meetings open and sort of accessible. We'll continue to use SLE for the really important work that requires complete secrecy.

  • Protesters can acquire new skills. No longer restricted to looting and burning they can graduate to fully fledged griefing status!

  • Security will be much simpler. We can offer some slightly used cornfields as holding areas for the protesters. In addition, the press will be given beta versions of new viewers which will limit their activities and give us some test results at the same time.

  • Second Life and some of its residents will make money! Selling new private estates to world wide conspiracies will prove lucrative to LL. In addition they'll need experts to help with terraforming, landscaping, building etc. A whole new market for creators/services.

So to you, the public World Wide Conspiracies, I say...... why continue to court negative publicity? Why continue to undertake huge expenditures totally out of proportion to short, relatively unproductive meetings? Why stay in cookie cutter luxury hotels in various parts of the world when you can explore the far reaches of the universe? Why tempt fate eating who knows what from who knows where when you can have your staff serve you your favourites while sitting at your computer? Why litter my streets when you have a perfectly good garbage can under your desk?

I think using Second Life is a win/win/win/win/win proposition.

just saying .............