Kicking Puppies in Second Life

Sparky, Sparky, Sparky. sigh

I swear there are times I'm ready to give up on you! Really! The only reason I keep trying to help you is that I recognize that you truly love Second Life. That may, however, be your only redeeming quality.

I keep telling you that to be taken seriously you have to start actually exercising some of those teensy little grey cells every now and then.

We all know you come from the Rush Limbaugh school of debating (the whole trash the person who disagrees with you rather than actually debating the ideas approach, preferably using self-constructed epithets and insults to sound clever) but you really need to choose your targets with more care.

Picking on somebody who has never done anything to you is typical. But kicking a puppy, no matter how bright and articulate that puppy might be, is low even for somebody as mean spirited as you often are.

It's time to evolve. Either that or get better drugs!

At least try to move up the evolutionary ladder a bit - I realize this would be a big leap but it's an appropriate time of year to at least aim for something with sentience (however warped).

If you keep this up you will visit the SL Halls of Justice. I've been there and it's no fun. Fair warning - there's a very large pool of interested and enthusiastic potential jurors just waiting for the chance to pass judgement.

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Thank you to Daniel Voyager for participating in the photo shoot!

Rough Justice in Second Life

There I was sitting on the roof of my Linden Home sorting inventory (cue angelic music and the image of a halo over my head) when I received the following IM:

• Newbie Alt: Your unamerican ravings shouldn't be allowed and you should be banned.
• Me: My what?
• Newbie Alt: you are anti-democratic!
• Me: I'm not anti-democratic...I'm a Canadian.
• Newbie Alt: doesn't matter

The person then logged off leaving me to ponder the concept of "unamerican" and conduct research on the topic. As I perused the various definitions and permutations available I realized I had a visitor.

His/her name was Sputum. No really it was (I doubt s/he gets many dates with that hanging over his/her head).

• Me: Welcome! Can I help you?
• Sputum: You will come with me.
• Me: ?
• Sputum: You will come with me now.
• Me: Where? and what if I don't want to?
• Sputum: To the Second Life Halls of Justice to answer charges. And if you won't come willingly my friend Trixie will persuade you.

That's a Trixie? This thing was 8m tall. I counted 23 gun barrels and at least half a dozen large razor-sharp pincers before I found myself teleported away (how do they do that?).

I arrived in this strange cavern where I waited for what seemed like hours. I couldn't stand up or tp away and kept expecting to hear the theme song from the Twilight Zone. It didn't start playing but I did finally hear a quiet cough.

"I'll be your lawyer for these proceedings."

An ostrich named Gertrude is going to be my lawyer?

• Me: What is this place? What are the charges? Are you any good?
• Gertrude: We are in the holding cell in the Second Life Halls of Justice where the final and absolute determination of guilt and innocence is made in this world. You have been charged with unamerican activities. This is my first case but I've read all the books.

Well that filled me with confidence. Gertrude didn't say anything else - even when prompted and so the two of us waited in silence. After what felt like another few hours Trixie showed up and motioned with her various lethal appendages for us to follow her.

I was directed to stand on a dais suspended hundreds of meters in the air (Gertrude took her damn time getting there it should be noted). A voice out of nowhere boomed (and echoed) throughout the chamber announcing the arrival of Chief Justice McCartherops (at this point I'm thinking stuff that shouldn't be printed on a PG blog).

A puff of smoke (geez they like theater in the Halls of Justice) and he appears.

A giant bug. I'm about to be tried by a giant bug. A really really really ugly giant bug.

• Chief Justice McCartherops: You are charged with unamerican activities. How do you plead?
• Me: I'm a Canadian.
• Chief Justice McCartherops: That is irrelevant. Are you now or have you ever been a member of the TechnoCommunist Party?
• Me: You're making that up!
• Chief Justice McCartherops: You will answer or I will instruct the bailiff to enforce summary judgement.

I turned to ask Gertrude if she had anything to say or suggest.

I don't think she likes bugs.

• Me: I don't belong to any party and certainly not to something called the TechnoCommunist party.
• Chief Justice McCartherops: You coders are all alike. You think we don't know what you're up to? You think this court will turn a blind eye to your machinations and devious plots?
• Me: I'm a Canadian not a coder. I couldn't code my way out of the proverbial paper bag!

The "Chief Justice" seemed a trifle agitated.

• Chief Justice McCartherops: You have disseminated seditious material, anti democratic and unamerican in nature. You have presented no defense (Gertrude whimpered) and leave us with no recourse. I convict you of all charges and sentence you to the ultimate sanction.
• Me: ? What the hell is that?

Sputum peered out from around a pillar:

• Sputum: It's Trixie!

Trixie? 8m tall Trixie with enough weapons to take on an army and the personality of a broken tea kettle? That Trixie?

It wasn't pretty and it wasn't quick. My alt had to come inworld to take the final photo.

I bet the members of the FIC don't have to put up with this kind of stuff.

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Credit for the Halls of Justice goes to Alex Bader for his Skye {Veralarti} Space Castle and to Alpha Point for the scene of the ultimate sanction.

Democracy in Second Life?

So Sparky I've read a number of comments over the years concerning the fact that Second Life is not "democratic". My usual reaction was "Why the hell would it be?" and then I forgot about it. However, you recently posted the following comment directed at Philip Linden (and yes I'm editing for brevity's sake):

In short, Philip, I can only tell you once again: make a democratic and fair world with processes that can lead to governance for a wide variety of constituencies with different needs.

Frankly this was the "proverbial last straw" Sparky. I've been wrong to dismiss the concept. I mean if you think it's important then I have to address this "democracy issue".

I have a problem though with the word democracy here - well I have a lot of problems. First of all you only want "a wide variety of constituencies with different needs" to be included. I'm hurt. Surely equality for all would include all constituencies.

There are various models for democracy - the extreme direct approach would have everybody in Second Life voting on every decision. That's probably workable but only if you have a lot of time to kill. Getting things done would not be a priority.

We could always elect representatives. How and how many would be a couple of sticking points. I suspect identifying population groups to be represented (in terms of geography, culture, language, avatar, etc.) would prove contentious at the very least. I'm sure you have a solution Sparky, you just failed to mention it.

Another option would be to have self appointed representatives. The ones who yell the loudest would be the best I suppose. They've even been known to use the word "we" when making demands or offering opinions - they're practicing for the real thing.

Now let's discuss governance. I have to start by wondering if you were using "governance" in the correct sense or if you were using it in place of the word "government" which many do. Of course the fact that you coupled it with "democratic" would lead me to believe you mean "government" but since that is patently absurd (Second Life is not an independent country. It is a corporation subject to the laws of the various real countries in which it operates.) I'll assume you really do mean governance - in the corporate governance sense since we're talking about a private company.

Electing representatives to be involved in corporate governance is something Trade Unions and Cooperatives have used for a long time. You probably got the idea from them.

Being residents/consumers/customers whatever you wish to call us, our input could only be on an advisory level. Unlike the Board, employees or shareholders we would have no responsibility and, therefore, no authority. Well that's a legitimate part of a corporate governance team but somehow I don't think that's what you want.

What you want Sparky, I suspect, is for Linden Labs to do things your way. Democracy in your case is composed of one vote - yours. I'm convinced that in any other form of a voting system you might be in the minority and that can't possibly be in your best interests.

In spite of your obvious superior intellectual abilities having you dictate LL policies and actions could be a tough sell. So I have a suggestion to make.

You are in charge of a large amount of land and you have tenants/residents on that land. Implement a "fair and democratic" system in your domain with processes that lead to governance for all of its constituencies and all of their needs. Then you can use that model to demonstrate to the rest of us how ideal and workable your system is.

We'll vote on it.

The Mad Oracle of Second Life

So Sparky........you want to be the prophetic Deity of Second Life? The one whose blog is a shrine to your insights and pronouncements (not to mention your paranoid periphrastic phrases)? The one whose voice makes the ground tremble and residents run in fear? The one whose acolytes adore and venerate? The one whose enemies cower and whimper? Well let me give you some advice.

First you need to keep a few things in mind:

• Acolytes are very important. Without your fawning supporters spreading your message to other forums and blogs you can't increase your following and, therefore, cement your hold on the minds and hearts of the masses. Acolytes however must be able to anticipate your feelings on topics of the day. They can't always wait for you to find time in your busy Deity schedule to dictate their actions.
• You must remember that your Acolytes are simple children. You can't expect them to apply reason or logic in their thinking. Once you have pointed them in a direction they will continue to follow it - even if you attempt to modify their course after the fact.

It is vitally important that you remain consistent in your raving and ranting. If on one date the fluctuation in the Lindex Exchange has you wondering what's going on, what are the Lindens doing or not doing, what terrible fate will befall us:

About a week ago, I went to pay tier. Usually, I try to get to this chore about two-three days before the due date, so I can allow time for the packet to sit there for some time to sell at the optimal rate for that long a wait, which has been 259/$1.00 for ages........

But I saw the last few weeks that 259 was just no longer an option. I'd have to park the packets at 260. And even there they didn't move, and for the first time in a good long while, I had to sell at 261. I'm now parking some more parkets for 48 hours so I'll let you know what I see -- I'm putting them at 259, but skeptical.......

So I suspect this is yet another way Linden Homes is harming our economy and costing us business -- in this case, loss of our cashout value.

Then do not post on a subsequent date that fluctuations are not part of some grand plot and the whiners should just relax:

I'm always amazed at how ignorant or uncurious people are about how currency exchanges work and what their fluctuations are like. Some people who own entire islands still don't realize that if the amount of Lindens per dollar goes *up*, it is devaluing, or if their customary sale of a day doesn't sell, they can easily wait. And they act surprised when they put their packets at 259 or 260 and it doesn't sell -- some of the people lording it over the forums with their fancy-ass high-content businesses in particular ought to know better. Look, the market fluctuates due to seasonal and political issues (summer, World Cup watching, Linden RIF nervousness, BP jitters) and it also sometimes doesn't value your labour. That's hard to take. So...give yourself a salary cut this week of...five US dollars...and mark down your packet a few notches so that it will sell. What can you do, it's how our artificial economy works.

A lack of consistency is a bad thing Sparky. You will start to look less than omniscient and you will begin to lose your power. Your ability to frighten targets with your dull but relentless knife will be weakened. More importantly your Acolytes will become confused and will drift away. You might wind up both powerless and alone.

just saying .............