Monday, August 23, 2010

Rough Justice in Second Life - The Emerald Caper


I received an IM from my lawyer Gertrude this morning (she has always felt badly about the way things turned out and kept in touch).

  • Gertrude: If you promise to be quiet I'll tp you over to watch my latest case. I think you'll find it interesting!
Hoping for the defendant's sake that Gertrude has improved since my trial I decided to take a chance and used the tp to the Second Life Halls of Justice.

It looked just the same as I remember it in my flashbacks (shudder) so I snuck behind the bailiff and hid as best I could.

There in front of me was the Chief Justice in all his ichy glory.

  • Chief Justice McArtherops: Bailiff have the prisoners brought in.
Well I hadn't expected this although I suppose I should have. In walked a group of assorted characters (the kind you can find only in Second Life). At the head of the line was a short shadowed techie who shuffled in his big work boots (why don't they do up the laces?).

When the prisoners had joined Gertrude on the dias the Chief Justice turned to a figure in the shadows.

  • Chief Justice McArtherops: Is the prosecutor ready to present his case?
Prosecutor? They have a prosecutor? Maybe having multiple defendants requires one, or perhaps it is the nature of the charges. I couldn't decide if this was good or bad news for Gertrude until I saw the prosecutor.

OMG the stuff that goes on behind closed doors on the grid!

  • Prosecutor Lie: I am ready Your Nastiness.

    The defendants are charged with betraying the trust of tens of thousands of Second Life users and have displayed arrogance, a wanton lack of professionalism and an inability to undertake the serious responsibilities they have assumed.

    In mitigation, the Grid is prepared to stipulate that they have given me enough material to produce a full length movie.


It was Gertrude's turn. I crossed all my fingers.

  • Gertrude: If the Supreme Insectoid will permit, I must point out that the lead defendant was bored. I realize that this has resulted in juvenile behaviour but it is also important to note that he has publicly acknowledged his failure to live up to expectations and has cut his ties to a project which has been the center of his Second Life for a long time. I believe that he has suffered enough for his crimes.

It was hard to tell if her plea had any effect - certainly the brown paper bag didn't seem to react.

  • Gertrude: The other defendants, Your Ugliness, have recognized their incompetence as it relates to the oversight duties inherent in their job titles and have vowed to work together to excel in the future. They have been subjected to public ridicule and must persevere in the face of distrust and disbelief in order to recover. I submit that they too have been punished adequately.

  • Chief Justice McArtherops: Nice try Counsellor. We will acknowledge that all of the defendants have suffered as a result of their crimes, however this court requires more from them. The mitigating circumstances will preclude death as a penalty but there are still lessons which must be learned.

    The lead defendant is obviously bright and ambitious. He must learn that once you involve anybody outside your basement in your "shenanigans" that there are consequences. We believe that you have the ability to change the world in a positive way once you have managed to accept the fact that adults cannot behave like 6 year olds. It's a fact of life son and it's time you understood that before it's too late to rebuild the respect and trust of any community.

    You are hereby sentenced to spend 3 months with a friend of the court. She is currently in heat and will require constant attention. You may decide that boredom isn't such a bad thing after all.

  • Chief Justice McArtherops: As for the rest of you. It's all very well to decide that you are a loose association of bright minds working in a non-traditional fashion. What you must understand is that job titles such as Quality Assurance and commitments to a user base have meaning. Ignoring responsibilities because they may be less attractive than the "fun" things or because it's hard to get others to cooperate also has consequences. Welcome to the world of business!

    We sentence you to work as a team on an important Quality Assurance project. Your sentence will last until the expected Quality has been achieved. In this case it means cleaning up a large installation which will soon be converted to our new Corn Fields. Your experience in getting the current inhabitants of the Teen Grid to cooperate with you should serve you well in your new TPV endeavours.

You know, I could almost grow to like the giant bug.

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Credit as always for the Halls of Justice goes to Skye {Veralarti} Space Castle.
Credit for the Tentacled Monster goes to HellHoundz.
The Friend of the Court resides in the waters off the French Quarter.
The team is currently practicing their QA tasks on Biker Life.

4 comments:

AlexHaydenJunibalya said...

Heh Heh...Prosecutor Lie indeed....

Honour McMillan said...

I didn't realize he has a (sort of) legitimate job. :)

Joonie said...

LMAO - awesome! Wish I had written it. Glad someone did and glad that someone was you. =)

Honour McMillan said...

Thanks Joonie :)