So I did something stupid yesterday. I admit I'm not perfect and I screw up with probably more regularity than I'd like to think but this time it affected somebody else and I felt lousy. I told one of my oldest SL friends what I had done and she recognized the gravity of my transgression however, she also laughed.
She explained that anybody who knew me would have expected it from me because that's what I do. I tend to "help" whether it's requested or not. sigh Now I not only felt like a rotten person but one of those infuriatingly sincere but annoying volunteers at a hospital I used to have to visit. This day was not getting any better.
I decided I had to perform some sort of ritual in order to imprint the commission of this particular crime on my subconscious so that I don't repeat it. I did some research on Sepuku and concluded that the full-blown traditional approach was probably not for me but I would tailor it somewhat.
First I searched my inventory for sword - not expecting anything but I thought it would be a good place to start. It turns out I own swords. In fact, for some reason I can't explain, I own a lot of them. I could only carry 3 and not for any distance - those suckers are heavy.
I spent considerable time designing what I thought would be a tasteful, solemn and fitting ceremony highlighting both my regret and my awareness of the extent of my shortcomings. I choreographed the steps I would take and wrote a suitably sincere and dramatic script that involved much soul baring and vows to mend my ways. The conclusion of the entire thing was to be very moving and, I felt, would result in the expiation of my sins. There would also be pain but that's to be expected.
I then passed a lengthy period of time in meditation and contemplation. I wanted to ensure that my mind was prepared for the task - I was not going to mess this up.
I headed out to a sim I felt gave me the proper backdrop for this type of endeavour and started to look for the right location. It appears some renovations are taking place because there was a lot of rubble and odd gaps in trails and, as I struggled to carry my swords over the broken terrain, I tripped. That's correct, I spent hours preparing for a ceremony that was very important to me and then did the inworld equivalent of running with scissors.
I guess that falling on your sword is easier to do than I thought. I will try to remember the lesson even if the process didn't turn out as expected.
|Dignity? What dignity?|