A Burns Day Toast to the SL Laddies

It's Robbie Burns Day!!! In honour of the great poet/song writer there will be countless Burns Suppers around the world in celebration. SecondLife is no exception - I know of at least 3 private Burns Suppers scheduled inworld.

The running order for a Burns Supper includes a "Toast to the Lassies" delivered by a man representing all those of his gender at the event.

This is supposed to be a humorous take on the role of women and often descends into chauvinistic digs at the terrible females who make life so difficult for long suffering males. The men around the table enjoy this part of the evening a great deal - although they might attempt to disguise their glee.

The women don't necessarily enjoy it quite as much. However, they do get an opportunity for revenge.

A "Reply" follows the gentleman's words which is often known as the "Toast to the Laddies". In honour of this occasion, I have updated a Toast I wrote a long time ago to make it more appropriate for the realities of Second Life. You should recognize it as a mangled version of "To a Mouse".

Wee, sleekit, cowran, tim'rous beastie,

O, what a panic's in thy breastie!

Thou need na start to blush sae hasty,

All innocent and pure!

I ken most men hae several frailties

Which freenis helps to cure!

I'm truly sorry our dominion,

Dost not match thy own opinion,

Which hae us good for naught but minion.

And that we are such a bore.

If you need to be a macho man,

You could always visit Gor.

Just understand the slavish damsel,

you can buy in role-play brothels,

Will not be a delicate morsel

admiring your physique.

But instead will be a grunting, hairy

ape-like manly freak.

Say that thou art blest, to have us here,

To treat you as sincere,

A friend without the fear,

of surprises undeserved.

We hold your reputation dear,

and your virtue is preserved!

But little man, please understand

You must not make demands,

of us based on your bloated glands.

(If that's the plan you've hatched.)

For you will find we'll take a stand

and your manhood be detached!

*****

Note: The photos were taken at a beautifully arranged Burns Supper set out in a Scottish Castle on The Magic World of Conjunctio.