Allow my to introduce myself. I, Cleng Kneb, am a patriot and a thinker. I care about this grid of ours and I care that there are those elements trying to subvert the Founder's wishes and introduce their liberal agenda into what is, and always shall remain, our world.
I have been paying attention people and what I see is not pretty. Allow me to use this conveniently placed blackboard to illustrate what should be obvious to all clear thinking residents.
The first step for those who try to undermine our way of life is always to have us start fighting amongst ourselves. That way we are too busy to notice their machinations. They have succeeded in starting a grid-wide civil war between the bunnies and the ponies. Have you noticed that nobody is even talking about the poor chickens? Wake up people! They're trying to tear us apart!
Is it just me or has anybody else noted that the new CEO is from England? That's right - England - socialism with an accent.
This new hire has arrived just when those techno communists have increased their demands for "open everything". Oh I know they conceal their intent with technical mumbo jumbo but what they're really talking about is our border people! Think about that - our only defense against the dark clouds that hover around outside just waiting to contaminate our upstanding citizens with their filth.
And do you believe a socialist CEO is going to fight the good fight against them?
The inconvenient truth that the liberal mafia doesn't want you to know is that the prime objective - their ultimate aim - is globalization. Yes globalization - I get sick just thinking about it. Our prim babies will be required to suck on organic formula. We'll be herded into relaxation camps and forced to listen to Enya.
The next step will be the annexation of our grid by the United Nations and our amalgamation with the wider metaverse. Am I the only one concerned about our future?
Remember, I couldn't say these things if they weren't true.
Explanatory Note for those readers outside of North America: I'm satirizing a political commentator who is well known for absurd and hate filled speech. I hope you are never required to endure his rants.