I was poking around the main sl website and clicking on links - there are some really interesting things on there! Anyway one of them led me to BanLink. According to the site:
BanLink is a free distributed ban management system developed by Travis Lambert and Mera Pixel. Much of the components are provided open-source to allow customization by subscribers. BanLink is not a global‚ centralized ban list. Rather‚ BanLink is a collection of individual banlists linked together in a format that can be shared on an ala carte basis. Each location that subscribes to BanLink receives a custom-generated banlist based upon their trust selections.BanLink has one other interesting little function. You can plug your AV's name in there and find out if you're banned anywhere in their database. Fess up - you've plugged your name into Google. Right? Aren't you just the teensiest bit curious?
It'll only tell you if you are in their database - so if somebody else has banned you, it won't be recorded. And it seems they only deal with sites have have traffic numbers over 1500 - so your ex's home parcel won't come up in the search.
They don't let you go searching to see who has banned other people. They obviously knew somebody would think to do that - you need a special number they send you inworld in order to complete the search. So unless you can logon as somebody else (and I'm not talking about your alt) you'll have to restrict your searches to your own AV's. :)